Reality Dance Shows – Guilty Pleasure or Just Guilty?

Photo Courtesy of North County DanceArts Inc.

Reality television is everywhere.  From early beginnings with Big Brother, The Bachelor and MTV’s The Real World to all of the now popular Housewives of….,  Stage Moms and Toddlers and Tiaras, reality television promises the viewing public a kind of voyeuristic insight into the lives of the people involved as they go through their ‘everyday’ life – whether it be seeking fame and fortune, or descending into the depths despair.

Many will tell you that watching these reality shows gives the viewer the sense that they are an ‘insider’ into the lives of these individuals.  I’ve heard it described by some, that watching the lives of the participants as they live through triumph and tragedy, as a ‘guilty pleasure’.

One of the newest of these reality situations that I continue to hear discussed with gaining popularity, is the reality dance show, Dance Moms and the spin off Dance Mom Miami.  This dance reality show is an unrealistic portrayal of dance studios, instructors, dance companies, and the world of competition.  Some say that it is unrealistic for good reason.  Who would watch if everyone was behaving in a respectful and professional manner?  In this ‘dance reality,’ the studio director/instructor/coach is unfit, egotistical and in my opinion, abusive.  Dancers are subjected to vulgar name calling matches between instructors, parents, and even with other instructors.  Constant demeaning of spirit with condescending remarks to physical or other attributes of the dancer and dancers themselves, forces them into a position of ‘competing’ against fellow students or team members just to win the coveted ‘top’ of the pyramid posted on the studio wall.  Dancers are expected to attend excessive and extreme rehearsals (five hours a day, five days a week), and dance competitions each weekend.   Where is the time for family dinners, outings with friends, school functions, and not to mention homework?  All of this amounts to an irrational and intensely pressure filled lifestyle any adult would struggle to contend with.  And to top it off, these dancers are being supported by unstable and weak mothers, who condone and allow their child to be abused.

The sad ‘reality’ of this show is that long after these young dancers have danced, competed, finished school and head off into what will be their future, only a very small percentage (less than 5%) of these dancers will ‘make it big’ or even continue to pursue a career in dance.  I support a complete uninhibited pursuit of the arts and do not accept censorship of any intellectual property.  However, is exposing our minds and the minds of our children just a ‘guilty pleasure,’ or is it just plain ‘guilty’ considering that real children are being abuse and we’re just watching it as it is being broadcasted all over the country?

Contrary to what this show sets forth, most dance studios are owned by hard working individuals who believe that there is something very positive in exploring the arts; whether it is creative writing, painting, drawing or the performing arts such as theater and dance.  Neighborhood dance studios, like ones in Carmel Valley San Diego, are places where children and adults can gather to study dance and enjoy a smaller community within our community that is both welcoming and spiritually freeing.  Most dance teachers are dedicated to sharing the technique and the appreciation for the art that the dancer can carry with them into and through their adult years, whether or not a career in dance is one that they choose for themselves.  Along with teaching dance, these teachers are instilling self worth, good self esteem, a sense of discipline, etiquette, sportsmanship and a more beautiful way to look at the world. There are many good dance studios located in Carmel Valley.  How do you choose one that is right for you and your student?  Here are some helpful tips:

1. First, determine what you and your student are looking for in a dance studio.  Are you simply looking for fun or an afterschool activity or training the next Broadway Star?  Looking for a studio that specializes in dance competitions or just impeccable dance training.
2. Is the dance studio you are looking at an environment conducive to safe learning.  Is the studio and its directors, staff and instructors warm and welcoming?  Are students treated in a respectful manner, no matter the age?
3. Will your student receive the training complimenting his/her dance goals?
4. Is the teaching staff professional either by degree or professional resume?
5. Is the pricing fair for the training received?  Are private lessons and coaching available?
6. View studio classes you are considering and often.  Is the parent allowed to view the class and its progress at all times?
7. Ask students, parents, staff and instructors their opinions of the dance studio, its policies, the instruction and learning environment.

We must as a community strive to be intentional in what we deem ‘acceptable’ by either agreement or participation.  We must be accountable to the children of Carmel Valley who are currently pursuing the study of dance, those potential students that will follow and those children that will never pursue dance.  Let’s choose what we support with our attention and our pocketbook.   I have personally contacted dance conventions and competitions nationwide to encourage them to decline to support this particular ‘reality’ dance studio and others that may spring board from this original by not allowing their participation in these events.  I encourage my family, friends, dance students, and instructors to not allow this dance studio ‘reality’ show to steal away time and energy from their day.

Happy Dancing!

Louis A. McKay

Louis McKay is President of North County DanceArts, Inc. located in Carmel Valley and currently trains 400 students from ages 3 to 93 years of age.  Louis has performed and taught Master dance and musical theater classes in 42 of our 50 states and Europe and South Africa. In 1980, Louis McKay opened Louis McKay Dance Studio, later to become North County DanceArts, Inc., which is a teaching facility that is best known for its professional teaching staff and quality dance training. Dancers from beginning level to professional are taught technique, terminology, and discipline in a nurturing and fun environment. Louis currently lives in Carmel Valley San Diego with his wife Tanya and is the proud father of four grown children and two grandchildren. Louis and Tanya McKay also own DanceHearts, a 501 (c) (3) Public Charity called Bells of Freedom Program, serves military men, women and their families by providing emergency care and support, back to school backpack program, vehicle donations and the annual “The Big Thank You” Military Holiday Event.